Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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