I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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