i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize