How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
