how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She told me I should be a condom model.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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