Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
