whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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