First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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