Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
