So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize