and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love having hate sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
