Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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