I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
