She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you would pick up someone in the library
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
