Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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