Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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