as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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