belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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