Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can Purell be used as lube?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
