how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize