That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
