So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
