There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
