I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
