i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Randomize
