After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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