i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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