More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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