woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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