He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
