I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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