That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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