Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.

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(541): View more from Oregon

He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

Fav 19 914 3839
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(678): View more from Georgia

At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2

(908): View more from New Jersey

Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?

Fav 14 5694 2307
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.

Fav 5 2900 1063
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(336): View more from North Carolina

They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

Fav 13 8160 1533
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(631): View more from New York

yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

Fav 21 3741 1600
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(513): View more from Ohio

Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?

Fav 13 3128 1317
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(515): View more from Iowa

I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.

Fav 0 855 655
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.

Fav 0 102 11
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