I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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