Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So vagazzling was a success
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
