I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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