fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Acid is not a monday night drug
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
