i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
