careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
