haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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