last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
