So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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