she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
