ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
