he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
