I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize