oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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