whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
