is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
