so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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