I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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