"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
