pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
