FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
