is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
