This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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