She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
