Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
porn star boner night. come get it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
