She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
