I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
