Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize