By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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