omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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